Whale-Sized Marshmallows Deployed to Thwart Japanese Whalers

Just Born — the makers of Marshmallow Peeps — says they’ll be producing whale-shaped, and whale-sized, Marshmallow Peeps in an effort to end Japanese whaling.


The Peep-maker said the joint effort is between Darryl Hannah, The Sea Shepherd Conservation Society and Greenpeace, and that they are uniting under the moniker PEEP: People for Everything and Everyone on the Planet.

PEEP will be using the marshmallow whale Peeps as decoys, hopefully tricking Japanese whalers into harpooning those instead of cute and cuddly whales. If successful, PEEP will look into other decoy opportunities. Baby seal Peeps are under strong consideration, especially with Canada’s seal hunt underway.

PEEP is Darryl Hannah’s brainchild.

Each Easter, Hannah and fellow gal-pal Drew Barrymore get together for a ritual Spring Cleaning. The tradition involves naming and nuking [microwaving] Marshmallow Peeps until they explode. The Peeps usually don names of prominent conservatives and members of the GOP. Last year when the Rush Limbaugh Peep kept getting bigger and fatter, and just wouldn’t die…Hannah had an idea.

The former mermaid had this to say, “Last Easter, after the Rush Limbaugh Peep broke Drew’s microwave, we joked…what if we covertly replaced prominent members of the GOP with Marshmallow Peeps. Like a McCain McPeep? So we actually tried making a few, but it just didn’t work out.”

“At first we tried making a Karl Rove Peep, but the mold kept turning out like that Emperor guy from Star Wars [the originals, not those crappy sequels],” she laughed. “The GOPeeps just weren’t working, it was really hard to get them right, and someone kept eating the Sarah Palin one!”

She said it was her work on Splash that gave her the idea of whale Peeps.

One obstacle, and the reason it took a year to develop the whale-sized Peeps, is that Peeps aren’t veggie friendly. “We wanted Greenpeace on our side.” Hannah said. “The last thing you wanna do is piss off a bunch of vegans from Greenpeace,” she warned.

Captain Paul Watson, founder of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, said, “We will start deploying the whale Peeps when the ship leaves port next.” This is expected to happen sometime in June.

The whale Peeps will come in three flavors: pink, yellow and krill.

Source: Just Born, Inc.

27 thoughts on “Whale-Sized Marshmallows Deployed to Thwart Japanese Whalers”

  1. Wow, I don;t know about anyone else, but I think Jessica needs help. live in a peep. That is the stupidest thing i have ever heard. If I saw Jessica living in a Peep, I would take a blow torch and melt the very house around it. I ate whale once, it was blubbery : P

  2. i, too, want a whale size peep but i do not want to eat (all of) it, i want to live inside it. holy comfy house. i could just float around in my giant whale peep…but what if the whale hunters decide to shoot it?uh-oh…

  3. Kevin,

    Dah, because no species of cow is endangered, and they are soley bred for food!
    If we decided tommorrow, we were all going vegan, and cows stopped being bred for food and dissappeared, would our entire marine eco system collape?

    Whales were almost entirely wiped out by commercial whaling before the ban on commercial whaling, Japan wants to finish the job….

    Not that im sure you really give a shit judgeing by by your post.

  4. Obviously hoaky, & yet I wouldn’t put it past a coke-snorting celebrity to come up with such an akward & impossible idea.

  5. Kevin: whale hunting is a problem because 1) it’s illegal because 2) all the great whales were hunted to near extinction so they hunt the smallest of the great whales, the minke whale, for no reason other than propping up a failing industry that has no actual market demand behind it and 3) the whale industry has shown clear intentions to use the guise of conducting research to worm their way back into whaling fin and humpbacks, which are still greatly endangered due to low populations. Also, just because one works to save the whales doesn’t mean it’s ok to kill cows.

  6. um, if they catch one of these things won’t the just release it and go on to get a real whale? I have no idea how this is supposed to help.



  7. Hopefully this is an April Fools joke. all reality… animals will eat the peeps which cant be good for any digestive tract. for all those “enviromentalist” heres a heads up- that would be a waste of money, and pollute the environment. Has anyone even studied the effect of a marsh mallow in salt water?

  8. LOL @ some people actually taking this seriously, you know it is a good Aprils Fool’s joke when at least 50% of people think it is real.

  9. Why don’t you just mail them a marshmallow bag with a note saying “Please stop killing whales” ? They’ll be touched for sure. No, seriously, can someone tell me again why whale hunting is a problem? Are we back in the seal clubbing argument? Why is it ok to kill cows?

  10. Maeghan: it was obviously an April Fools joke and do you know how huge the ocean is? No amount of sugar you could imagine would affect anything if dumped in the ocean, you would need millions of tons of sugar.

  11. Does anyone else see that its likely the peeps will simply desolve in the ocean? I mean, do we know what will happen when we dump a huge mound of sugar in the ocean?

    Nice thoughts, funny article, but bad idea.

  12. Based solely on the uncanny resemblance the PEEPs have to actual whales, I think this is destined for success.

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