High-Fructose Corn Syrup is Good for You, Aphrodisiac

 

High-fructose corn syrup: is it hemlock, or the nectar of the gods? The Corn Refiner’s Association (CRA) believes the latter—that the dreaded syrup is really Aphrodite’s bathwater.

 Sure, they claim that high fructose corn syrup has the same amount of calories as sugar and has no artificial ingredients. You have probably seen the commercials combating the urban myth; Eve offers Adam a cherry-colored popsicle and he initially denies it out of unbridled piety to the American Heart Association and its pyramid of truth. She reassures him that it’s ok—American, even—and he takes it from her with an impish grin.

 But the CRA hasn’t told you everything. Not only is high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) good for you, it also boosts romance. Dr. Ben Dofa of the National Institutes of Health reports:

 “HFCS binds to the endorphin receptors in your brain, making you undeniably randy. That’s why everyone drinks soda at parties. The lone wolf hanging out by the punch bowl isn’t a loser—he knows what he is doing.”

 HFCS also doubles as sensual massage oil.  If you want to get in the mood, just head to your pantry and break out this disaccharide treat and flip on some Barry White. You will soon be reliving the summer of ’69, rolling through the Kansas cornfields without a care.

 So next time, show up at your date’s door with a bottle of Karo and a bouquet of free-labor roses. She will be thankful you did. 

 

3 thoughts on “High-Fructose Corn Syrup is Good for You, Aphrodisiac”

  1. Re: above comment by “Natasha”…

    “My doctor said it is better to just take this great aphrodisiac drug called Bremelanotide in order for both men and women to improve their sexual experiences and performance, so you can just do the same and have piece of mind about it.”

    Who is your doctor… Doc Brown from ‘Back to the Future’?

    Because Bremelanotide is still in clinical trials (and been declined for approval once already by the FDA), so it isn’t even available by prescription yet.*

    *as of June 2009 and the foreseeable future.

    There ARE real aphrodisiacs being developed by various companies, including Palatin Technology’s Bremelanotide (via injection) and PL-6983 (nasal spray). But these and other ED and FSAD treatments are at least 1 to 5 years.

    Just wanted to clear that up for any readers who read that earlier comment and tried to find somewhere they could buy Bremelanotide.

  2. Ah, but the magic words in the commercial is “in moderation”. The problem, of course, is that HFCS has so fully penetrated our food supply that one has to be vigilant just to keep it at moderate levels. Those commercials just infuriate me.

  3. Hello Maggie,

    I’m sure you had good intentions with your high frutose corn syrup article. However, the fact is HFCS is actually a poison and one of the worst foods to eat. It is one of the big reasons we have an obseity and diabetes epidemic in the USA. Itis a highly processed unnatural food made from genetically altered corn ( who knows the problems gmos can cause).It is a highly addictive,high calorie,high gycemic index non nutritional food, blocks the burning of fat and contributes to high blood sugar, which leads to all kinds of maladies.
    If you go to mercola.com you can read all about the dangers of HFCS.
    So please get your facts straight before giving nutritional advice. Now you may be right about it being good as a sexual stimulant, maybe I”ll try it.

    thanks,

    Rico Caveglia

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