That pretty much sums up my reaction upon discovering Eco-Patent Commons.

Launched at the beginning of 2008, Eco-Patent Commons makes available royalty-free, patented technologies for reducing pollution and waste, curbing greenhouse gases and meeting demand for clean, renewable energy. It’s the green-invention equivalent of Wikipedia.

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Nature has published a major analysis concluding that higher sea surface temperatures caused by global warming are creating stronger hurricanes. The net effect of global warming on the frequency of hurricane formation remains uncertain. Global warming causes sea surface temperatures to increase, but it also causes wind shear to increase, which disrupts hurricane formation.

However, this new study concludes that the effect of global warming on hurricane intensity is to make them stronger.

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Your bed will make all the difference; a naked romp in a verdant meadow isn’t your only green option. Invest in an organic comforter set. Don’t worry—if you are living off a writer’s salary, you can get these luxurious items at an artist’s price at Target. Organic mattresses come at a slightly higher price, but are great long-term investments. An organic Natura Sunshine Mattress sells for $660.00 (Organicsleepproducts.com). Always make sure to wash your sheets with environmentally friendly soaps and softeners (like Sun and Earth Deep Cleaning Detergent) before the fun! You may even want to spritz your sheets with organic perfume, like Dream Tarts’ home fragrance in Midsummer’s Night.

Hopefully by now both (or more!) of you are ready for business. Never ever sacrifice a condom in the name of the environment; it’s just another excuse not to use one (listen ladies!). Given the right conditions, latex condoms should always decompose. However, if you are allergic to latex and use polyurethane condoms you have no choice but to throw them away (it’s the only situation where it’s not a good idea to recycle!). You cannot recycle the condom wrapper, but you should always recycle the box it came in. There are also many organic lubes to choose from. UK-based company Yes Pure Intimacy offers a great selection of water or oil based lubes (www.yesyesyes.org).

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Duke Energy has a few small obstacles to get past before it can move forward with its plan. The company is offering 100 million dollars to any company that can supply the necessary materials, panels, and labor for the project. They hope to get started in early 2009. In addition to finding a supplier, they must also gain the approval of the North Carolina Utilities Commission. It seems likely though that they will obtain approval in the next few months, given the considerable amount of public interest in clean energy projects.

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If soaring household freezer sales are any indication, then the answer is yes.

While this might sound strange, remember that next to plasma televisions and air conditioning, refrigerators and freezers are the biggest energy-cows in American homes. Even Energy Star certified deep freezers swallow around 500 kWh each year—so the adding one to an average home results in about an 18% increase in electricity use.

According to the NPD Group, freezer sales over the last six months have increased more than seven percent since the same time last year; however, all other kitchen appliances have instead shown a decrease in sales. People aren’t buying new freezers to replace the old. They’re buying second freezers to keep in the garage, probably to stock up on the 64-packs of Hot Pockets from Sam’s Club.

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“We’re hoping for the best, that we’re going to have a good storm season and be able to meet the needs of California,” said state Department of Water Resources Director Lester Snow. “However, we would be negligent if we didn’t prepare for the worst.”

This “water bank” was last used in 1992, during the final year of a six year drought. Those that sold water were in districts holding generous, century-old water rights on the Sacramento, Yuba and Feather rivers. The buyers were urban communities in the San Francisco and Los Angeles areas. The largest buyer in ‘92 was the Metropolitan Water District of Southern California.

Schwarzenegger officially declared a drought this past June, stating that nine counties in the farm-rich Central Valley are in a state of emergency due to low water supplies after two years of below-average rainfall. In the Northern Sierra, this spring and summer were the driest on record since 1921. Additionally, 2007 and 2008 made up the ninth driest two-year period in 88 years of record keeping for the Northern Sierra.

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Finally, something both parties can agree on. We need to integrate green living into every aspect of our lives: a single stinky compost heap isn’t enough (it may also be a mood-killer). They may say that “politics makes for strange bedfellows,” but this three-part miniseries will teach you how to get over your differences and save the environment one orgasm at a time.

PART ONE: FOREPLAY

Set the mood right. Instead of going on a long drive down a backcountry road, opt for a walk on the beach or in a secluded garden. You will (hopefully) admit negligible amounts of carbon gas. Don’t live near a scenic getaway? Find interesting things to walk to in your neighborhood: your partner will get to know more about you when he or she see s how you interact with your environment. Although cliché, a tandem bike is also a good option because it’s environmentally safe and promotes close physical proximity.

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If you live in New York City, London, Paris, or on Mackinac Island, and you either have access to a great subway system or cars are banned from your small island, going for 24 hours without driving is not a big deal.  But here in Chicagoland, despite a decent public transportation system, driving is a way of life.  So I decided to spend a day without getting into my car or any other car, and see how I would fare.

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