Climate Change global warming study the onion

Published on December 15th, 2011 | by Zachary Shahan

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Global Warming Could be Irreversible in -5 Years

December 15th, 2011 by

Yes, that would be negative 5 years. Well, this actually comes from a pseudo news source, The Onion. Unfortunately, the folks over at The Onion seem to understand global warming and climate change much better than the mass media. Here’s the first part of the piece (full piece on The Onion):

global warming irreversible

GENEVA—A new report from the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change warned Monday that global warming is likely to become completely irreversible if no successful effort is made to slow down the trend before 2006.

Unless greenhouse-gas emissions are drastically reduced by then, the report concludes, it will be too late to avoid inflicting a grave environmental catastrophe upon future generations.

“We have absolutely no time to waste,” said Dr. William Tumminelli, lead author of the report, which stresses it is utterly crucial the world cut its carbon footprint in half by the year 2000. “If we wait until 1998 or even 1995 to really start doing something about climate change, our planet’s rising temperature will already have set in motion a series of devastating and irreparable long-term consequences. We need to have strict international rules in place well ahead of 2006 or, to be blunt, many of the earth’s inhabitants will be doomed.”

“The situation could not possibly be more urgent,” Tumminelli added.

The IPCC report—the most comprehensive study of its kind ever undertaken—estimates the failure to address global warming immediately could result in sea levels rising 6 inches by the end of the 20th century, 2000-2009 being the hottest decade ever recorded, and roughly half the Arctic ice cap melting by 2011.

(Note: Yeah, the latter two have already occurred. –ZS)

Even before 2006, when the report indicates the concentration of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere will reach “entirely unmanageable levels,” scientists confirm the likelihood of an alarming increase in the frequency and sever­ity of hurricanes, floods, heat waves, and droughts, which could lead to death tolls in the hundreds of thousands.

(Note: Yep, occurring. -ZS)

“Climate change is the deadliest crisis currently facing humanity, so needless to say, we can expect it to be the dominant issue of the 2000 presidential election,” Brookings Institution political analyst Gloria Leting said. “It stands to reason that, as the world’s foremost producer of greenhouse gases, the United States will want to take the lead in preventing this disaster while we still have time.”

“We can also count on hearing U.S. Senate candidates make firm campaign promises to ratify the Kyoto Protocol as soon as they take office,” continued Leting, referring to the U.N. accord that aims to enforce emission standards starting in 2005. “Our elected officials realize Americans don’t want to suffer the embarrassment of not being among the first nations to approve such an vitally important agreement.”

(Note: Yeah, that didn’t happen.)

Read the rest of the piece on The Onion.

Let’s hope someone invents a time machine or we get off our asses right now and start taking serious action to stop global warming and runaway catastrophic climate change. (That means you, too!)

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About the Author

is the director of CleanTechnica, the most popular cleantech-focused website in the world, and Planetsave, a world-leading green and science news site. He has been covering green news of various sorts since 2008, and he has been especially focused on solar energy, electric vehicles, and wind energy since 2009. Aside from his work on CleanTechnica and Planetsave, he's the founder and director of Solar Love, EV Obsession, and Bikocity. To connect with Zach on some of your favorite social networks, go to ZacharyShahan.com and click on the relevant buttons.



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  • http://importantmedia.org/members/zshahan/ Zachary Shahan

    I should rephrase, in this piece, it is making fun of our inaction on the matter. Note how it cites numerous things that have happened or are happening and were projected by climate scientists years ago. Notice how it makes fun of the fact that we haven’t lived up to the challenge. It is not only clever, but also very up-to-date on climate science, as it has shown several times.

  • http://www.RebeccaPizzo.com Rebecca Pizzo

    I don’t consider the Onion a reputable news source. SO… this article is also nothing but OPINION. Stop spreading these opinions as if they were news.

    • http://importantmedia.org/members/zshahan/ Zachary Shahan

      The Onion, of course, is not a real news source. That said, it bases its joke stories on science more than the mass media seems to (at least on the topic of climate change). The notes in the middle of the article above, by me, have plenty of validity! Happy to show you the details on that if you wish.

  • Bobbb

    In case your readers don’t know this but The Onion is sarcasm and sarcasm only. I am a ” global warming” sceptic but I love “The Onion” since way before the Church of Global Warming became popular.

    • http://importantmedia.org/members/zshahan/ Zachary Shahan

      Yes, as I wrote at the beginning, it’s a psuedo news source. I think people are aware of that. That said, it does a much better job educating people about the science of climate change than the mass media! :D (And there’s no Church of GW.. there’s a scientific consensus — or the closest you get to it in science — that global warming is happening, is caused by humans, and is a concern for society.)

  • http://www.real-science.com/ Steve Goddard

    They Onion is making fun of people like you, Zach.

    • http://importantmedia.org/members/zshahan/ Zachary Shahan

      Steve, no, The Onion is making fun of global warming deniers. It has been doing so for a long time. And it’s REALLY good at it.

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