Breaking Onion Story: Millions Of Barrels Of Oil Safely Reach Port In Major Environmental Catastrophe

Published on August 15th, 2010 | by

August 15th, 2010 by

oil disaster story the onion

I just mentioned this over on Fail Drill, but it is such a great story I have to share it here, too. The Onion, the excellent satirical publication that has grown from a college student favorite to a large, successful publication, has a great “fake” news story about the environmental and human disasters that we will be facing (and are already facing) as a result of our widespread addiction to oil.

The piece is excellent and worth a full read. Here’s the intro to get you started:

PORT FOURCHON, LA—In what may be the greatest environmental disaster in the nation’s history, the supertanker TI Oceania docked without incident at the Louisiana Offshore Oil Port Monday and successfully unloaded 3.1 million barrels of dangerous crude oil into the United States.

According to witnesses, the catastrophe began shortly after the tanker, which sailed unimpeded across the Gulf of Mexico, stopped safely at the harbor and made contact with oil company workers on the shore. Soon after, vast amounts of the black, toxic petroleum in the ship’s hold were unloaded at an alarming rate into special storage containers on the mainland.
From there, experts confirmed, the oil will likely spread across the entire country’s infrastructure and commit unforetold damage to its lakes, streams, and air….

A fun, if not also very sobering account of what we are expecting from our excessive use of oil. You can read the full story, Millions Of Barrels Of Oil Safely Reach Port In Major Environmental Catastrophe, over on the Onion.

Photo Credit: OneEighteen via flickr


Keep up to date with all the most interesting green news on the planet by subscribing to our (free) Planetsave newsletter.