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Published on September 18th, 2008 | by Maggie Milstein

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High-Fructose Corn Syrup is Good for You, Aphrodisiac

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September 18th, 2008 by

 

High-fructose corn syrup: is it hemlock, or the nectar of the gods? The Corn Refiner’s Association (CRA) believes the latter—that the dreaded syrup is really Aphrodite’s bathwater.

 Sure, they claim that high fructose corn syrup has the same amount of calories as sugar and has no artificial ingredients. You have probably seen the commercials combating the urban myth; Eve offers Adam a cherry-colored popsicle and he initially denies it out of unbridled piety to the American Heart Association and its pyramid of truth. She reassures him that it’s ok—American, even—and he takes it from her with an impish grin.

 But the CRA hasn’t told you everything. Not only is high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) good for you, it also boosts romance. Dr. Ben Dofa of the National Institutes of Health reports:

 “HFCS binds to the endorphin receptors in your brain, making you undeniably randy. That’s why everyone drinks soda at parties. The lone wolf hanging out by the punch bowl isn’t a loser—he knows what he is doing.”

 HFCS also doubles as sensual massage oil.  If you want to get in the mood, just head to your pantry and break out this disaccharide treat and flip on some Barry White. You will soon be reliving the summer of ’69, rolling through the Kansas cornfields without a care.

 So next time, show up at your date’s door with a bottle of Karo and a bouquet of free-labor roses. She will be thankful you did. 

 

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About the Author

I am a 20 year old student of the University of California at San Diego. I write satire and nonfiction for three different publications. I am a pre-medical/writing student.



  • http://www.bremolanotide.com Steve (editor @ Bremelanotide Bulletin)

    Re: above comment by “Natasha”…

    “My doctor said it is better to just take this great aphrodisiac drug called Bremelanotide in order for both men and women to improve their sexual experiences and performance, so you can just do the same and have piece of mind about it.”

    Who is your doctor… Doc Brown from ‘Back to the Future’?

    Because Bremelanotide is still in clinical trials (and been declined for approval once already by the FDA), so it isn’t even available by prescription yet.*

    *as of June 2009 and the foreseeable future.

    There ARE real aphrodisiacs being developed by various companies, including Palatin Technology’s Bremelanotide (via injection) and PL-6983 (nasal spray). But these and other ED and FSAD treatments are at least 1 to 5 years.

    Just wanted to clear that up for any readers who read that earlier comment and tried to find somewhere they could buy Bremelanotide.

  • http://www.whatisanaphrodisiac.com Natasha French

    Here is a list of aphrodisiacs that you may or may not have heard of somewhere:

    1. Chocolate : What is an Aphrodisiac? Chocolate is! the romantics identify chocolate as an aphrodisiac, and the reputed aphrodisiac qualities of chocolate are frequently associated with the simple sensual pleasure of consuming it. However, there are chemicals found in chocolate such as phenethylamine that can act as mild sexual stimulants.

    2. Oysters are often used as aphrodisiacs and according to a research team they are rich in rare aminoacids that trigger increased levels of sex hormones.

    3. Potatoes: in the past potatoes started to get reputation to be a powerful aphrodisiac, while herbalists insisted in the fact that potatoes could cure everything from diarrhea to tuberculosis and people in Shakespeare’s time viewed the potatoes as part of the list of aphrodisiacs and then labeled them “Apples of Love” and inclusive fruits.

    4. Rhinoceros Horn: a few tribes in the north of India are practically the only people who started using rhinoceros horns as part of the list of aphrodisiacs, as it is said to make men sexually unstoppable.

    5. Plants and fruits: some plants and fruits have the correct convination of components to be a perfect aphrodisiac.

    Medical science has not verified claims that any particular food from the list of aphrodisiacs increases sexual desire or performance. After know what is an aphrodisiac you should know that there is an aphrodisiac drug called Bremelanotide that seems to be the first real aphrodisiac, acording to medical investigations. The effects of this new aphrodisiac drug has proven to stimulate sexual desire in men and women, and clinical trials are currently doing tests for this new aphrodisiac drug to be used for the treatment of sexual arousal disorder and erectile dysfunction as well.

    My doctor said it is better to just take this great aphrodisiac drug called Bremelanotide in order for both men and women to improve their sexual experiences and performance, so you can just do the same and have piece of mind about it. As I previously said, some people did not know what is an aphrodisiac and know they do, which is great, and after being able to find out what is an aphrodisiac now you can start using this information for your sexual life!

    More info: http://www. whatisanaphrodisiac.com

  • http://www.squidoo.com/highfructosecornsyrup cchiovitti

    Ah, but the magic words in the commercial is “in moderation”. The problem, of course, is that HFCS has so fully penetrated our food supply that one has to be vigilant just to keep it at moderate levels. Those commercials just infuriate me.

  • http://weallmakeadifference.com Rico Caveglia

    Hello Maggie,

    I’m sure you had good intentions with your high frutose corn syrup article. However, the fact is HFCS is actually a poison and one of the worst foods to eat. It is one of the big reasons we have an obseity and diabetes epidemic in the USA. Itis a highly processed unnatural food made from genetically altered corn ( who knows the problems gmos can cause).It is a highly addictive,high calorie,high gycemic index non nutritional food, blocks the burning of fat and contributes to high blood sugar, which leads to all kinds of maladies.
    If you go to mercola.com you can read all about the dangers of HFCS.
    So please get your facts straight before giving nutritional advice. Now you may be right about it being good as a sexual stimulant, maybe I”ll try it.

    thanks,

    Rico Caveglia

  • Maggie Milstein

    It’s basically saying: if you have the power and money, you can make the public believe whatever you want. Even that corn-oil is an aphrodisiac. Which it isn’t. Being obese ain’t always sexy.

  • Maggie Milstein

    I don’t think any information by Dr. Ben Dofa is a legitimate source (think about it :) )

  • http://www.sciencesays.net Jeff

    Is this supposed to be sarcastic?

    Isn’t HFCS the plasticy sludge at the center of the obesity epidemic?

    And since when are the Corn Refiners Association a reputable source for information? It’s worth reporting about, but not reporting as truth – that’s like trustingthe oil companies about pollution, or the tobacco companies about cancer.

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